Uniforms

Oh for a uniform............the number of times I gained strength from my uniform - hid behind it, looked in the mirror, really looked at me, at my silver buckle gained from years of hard work and exams, at my frilly hat - until they changed the uniform that is!
I took it all in - and believed in what I saw - none of that was given away - I earned it all...... yet still I would wobble - frequently - but I had my uniform to hang on to - something concrete that said I was ok, I knew what to do - and others believed in me because I looked the part ( I did actually know what I was doing - it's ok!)

now there is no uniform, no buckle, or frilly hat (St.Thomas's uniform was priceless!) I am thankful I have a team mate who understands when I wobble, who catches me when I have been unnerved by my fears and am retreating rapidly - who tells me I am ok and sets me right back where I need to be.

Perhaps I'm standing on my own two feet more now than ever before - but I still feel insecure at times, and lonely, and scared at times - what I'd do for a uniform, a mask, something to hide behind - just sometimes!

just now forgive me if I take shelter, away from the world for a while...
theres some persistent battle fire going on, and I'm catching it on all sides...