And finally...

So, finally the last call for support, help, advice has been and gone - I finished my meeting, checked the phone and it's cut off, that's it.... what of the person who is trying to call right now - who didn't call sooner because she was just making a coffee before she made that call......

That is why I am sad, sad that people couldn't see, couldn't hear, didn't listen - and now it's gone.... I pray and trust that the huge gaping hole left that I couldn't totally fill, but something was a whole lot better than nothing, can be properly looked at and filled - am harbouring hopes from conversations I have had with various people about what is lacking, what people ask for...... but in the end it's not up to me completely

In some ways it's a relief after the messy past few weeks..... and I don't properly finish until Tuesday, so can quietly get on with typing and reports that are needed.

It is just........ final

sad but not devastating - I can't get rid of that glimmer of hope that has been there all along........I don't even have a good reason to have it, but it's there, so maybe although this is final, it's not totally over .