kisses

sent from above....?
as I arrived home this lunchtime.
Much needed too.
I love moments like that, they just make me smile,
and wonder...
perhaps someone, somewhere, knew I needed exactly that.

Too short

Why do people, (all people at times,) forget that

Life is just far too short..

for so many things...

for misperceptions, regrets, foolish pride, not recognising or appreciating the good in one another,
for not loving, seeing, feeling and tasting what is around us...

too much time wasted on just not living...
time wasted on soul destroying, when it could be spent instead on soul building, or nurturing..

just thinking aloud.

It's beautiful today...

Lets go fly a Kite

With tuppence for paper and strings,
you can have your own set of wings.
With your feet on the ground,
you're a bird in flight!
With your fist holding tight,
to the string of your kite!

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

When you send it flying up there,
all at once your lighter than air!
You can dance on the breeze,
over 'ouses and trees!
With your fist 'olding tight,
to the string your kite!

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

(from Mary Poppins)

Promises

You know those promises you make yourself when you're younger..
that you won't do this, and you will do that..?

that you wont turn into your parents
and you'll stay fun and cool
and you'll be friends with your kids
and you won't get fat
and flabby
and wear dreadful clothes,
that you'll only give advice when it's asked for
and that you'll keep an open mind
on all things,
on drink and drugs and sex
and you'll remember what it's like to be young
and foolish
and horny
and idealistic
and unrealistic,
and to dream
and not think about getting old,
that you'll try and see their world as they see it,
and not how you perceive it to be

and that you won't shout or get angry at anyone just for being the age they are and being daft
and you'll try to not embarass them or make them feel uncomfortable
that you'll never try and make them fit the mould you want them to..
even if you think it'll be the easier path,
that you'll let them find their own way
and just be their guide
that you won't let anything phase you -
in fact, quite naturally, nothing can phase you
even, and especially minor things like fashion and hair,

because there are bigger things in life to stress over,
and because, of course you have seen it (or most of it) before...
and of course you are realistic..

because you have seen it happen to other people,

BUT you have never had it happen to you...

there are times I need to remind myself of these things..
especially when all the things I said I'd never be peep out from behind closed doors and curtains
tempting me to give in,
and when sometimes classic situations present themselves
as they are prone to do now and again
It can be very hard to remember and keep those long held promises, to stay true to the values we decide for ourselves.

And sometimes a moment presents itself when we find ourselves keeping a long held promise and then it passes and for better or worse it was your choice,

tonight a good friend and I shared one such moment,
we smiled at one another and let it go... we kept our promises to ourselves

Every time, I say a prayer and hope it was the right thing to do...
There are more to come, and not all as easy as this one,

Staying true to our hearts,
honouring our promises,
it's harder than we think.

Kind words...spoken in love

"Words have the power to both destroy and heal.
When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."
Buddha

Words have been on my mind a lot lately...
their power to change how we think, feel, and act.
The difference between words chosen in love and those designed to maim, and not just the words, but how they are said and how they are packaged.

Once said they can't be taken back, they can linger on indefinitely, even, and perhaps, for ever..

yet silence isn't always the answer either ~ it can hurt every bit as much as words spoken can.

To be careful and use them wisely is a lesson that can't be learned too early.
It hurts when I hear people destroying one another with words, more so when they are young...
and why?

Words as weapons fall far too easily from lips that perhaps don't realise the lasting effects and potential damage done, and they come from both young and old lips alike....

And yet to quote Mother Teresa

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless"

Endless echoes are good...if only we could remember that before we open our mouths..

"Underground, overground, Wombling free. The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we ! Making good use of the things that we find - things that the everyday folk leave behind !"

I remember being fascinated when I was very small by the idea that there were Wombles living in Wimbledon common and it was in fact the only reason back then that I wanted to visit it... to see if I could see them.
Then I grew up and realised they were purely imaginary!!

Skip rummaging and reusing things has always been a part of life here - so often it feels as if we've stepped into Steptoes back yard, but then we have mirrors, shelves, a shed, and various bits around the place that we couldn't afford any other way really, plus no end of picture frames and other 'found' objects that invariably end up as pieces of 'art' in some form or other.

So, I thought it was wonderful when I was told about an event planned this friday, where, once again there will be Wombles wombling in Wimbledon, but this time for real...

The Big Womble is being co-ordinated by The London Community Recycling Network and they are encouraging people to find broken, tired and discarded furniture and household items and bring them to Wimbledon College to be refurbished and reused. At the end of the day these items will be donated to furniture reuse charities in the city. Various celebrities have donated old and unwanted furniture to be reused and there looks to be lots planned for the day.
If I lived close I'd definitely be there - instead I'll drop in from afar and am spreading the word for them...

Happy Wombling all of you :)

Looking back

Whats round the next corner and are we nearly there yet? Do we really want to know?

Isn't it strange how so many things only make sense on reflection, that while we are going through them we can't always see.
And even if we are aware, without the next piece of the puzzle we find it hard to believe.

Sometimes it's not until things get so very hard, that we are given, or we find a way out.
That we emerge stronger and wiser (just maybe) than we were.

Sometimes (most often anyway) I'm grateful I only know whats happening now and don't know what lies ahead, yet looking back it does all fit into place.
Somehow everything, including all our choices ~ made with the best information we had to hand, and all the things that were taken out of our hands too, they all fit together to make sense and bring us to where we are now.


I am reminded of the words of the Desiderata that say that
"no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should"

It just takes patience and faith and trust to believe in that sometimes...

we are on holiday this week, we have time and space and no set plans, a rare gift indeed :)

The Lemonade award

A while back I was given the lemonade award by two beautiful people, much2ponder and Calli...

The Lemonade Award is for sites which show great attitude and/or gratitude!

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Nominate your favorites and link to this post.

It has taken me so long to post this because being honest I could just refer you to my sidebar and you would find wonderful people at the end of any of them

but since am asked to choose, I nominate
Stacey at Independent chick
Jayne at Journey through grace
Romany Angel at An Angel on My Shoulder
Shaz at Dare to dream
and Gilly at Winds of Change


Thank you :) x

Changes, challenges and love

Changes are afoot..
Valentines day, purely by virtue of being singled out is memorable, years when there were no cards, the year the postman delivered a card and I didn't have a clue who it was from,
the year my son was due, but ended up over two weeks late ~ tomato soup and cod liver oil (not to be recommended), various other memories, a meeting with the local press at school, meeting my parents from holiday at the airport, surprise encounters that made me smile long after the event... that changed my thinking, romantic adventures that cost nothing but imagination.

Tonight, watching a dance concert with my daughter in it...
how times have changed :)
still romantic though, just different!

Perceptions change, what is important changes.

Ahead of us is a mountain...it's scary and it's real.
Distracted by the dance concert I could escape for a while and it was wonderful, but still the challenge lies ahead of us.
Bravely, together, and with good friends we are making our way forwards.

I had no idea when we started this journey of parenthood that it was going to be so challenging, so scary, and like so many I always thought things happened to other people,
but the challenges aren't made up, they are very real, they are ours.
Older and wiser people than I have offered reassurance, which is so welcome, yet as is always going to be the case, noone but us can go through this. Ultimately we are always alone, even when surrounded by others. We have to own our lives, our decisions and our actions.

Blessed with friends who care, and who are on hand to give support, in the end we are back to love...
that everyone needs to be loved, needs to know they are loved and cared for, that they are accepted for who they are, that we all mess up and need to give and receive forgiveness, time and time again, that it may never be the intention and yet we will hurt people without knowing, without meaning to, and that doesn't make us bad people, just that we are human.
We need to know we have people who are on our side fighting for us, believing in us even when we have lost faith in ourselves.

Not long ago Pip posted this and it keeps coming to mind,

" It was the love that dared not speak its name.

Now we weren't taught hatred.
Or aggression.
Pip told us all - you are a beautiful human person.
You need to hear that at 15.
And when we graduated to The Very Stinking Late Show at 17 we needed to hear it just as much."

The challenge isn't to love ~ that's easy, innate, the challenge is letting it show through, whilst not accepting certain behaviour.

It's turbulent, for them and for us.
We're finding our way
I am more scared of falling than I have ever been, there is more to risk.
I care more and love more than I have ever known.
Noone ever said it would be easy, all they say is that it is worth it.
There are many many magical moments, but just right now it's tough going...

However,
we have friends, and we have one another.

And one step at a time...with love...

we will get there.

From the broken heart of Gaza

Sending out a message...


Father Manuel Musallam, the Parish Priest of Gaza has written to the wider Church of God.
His letter was made public in January 2009.
It inspired Garth to write this song, and others to help him put together these images to go with the words and music.






- originally I heard of this from bigjohn...I just posted the song, his post tells it better -

Stay close

Last night I drove back along the coast road as the sea whipped up high above the wall, playing some kind of 'dodge the waves' game as I drove. It was wild and wonderful, untamed and free.

It was beautiful.

Nature has a way of silencing the soul, the power of the forces that surround us, the elements, that make us feel so small, and so in awe.

As I stayed safe watching and listening from the warmth of our home I finally drew breath. It has been busy. Work has been constant, but happy, S has been dancing in the festival, I was judge for a local competition, we have had friends birthdays to celebrate, and the usual routine of life to fit in around it all!

when it all gets too busy to see the way ahead I love the words of my dearest friend who says, "just stay close,"
and tonight I watched a small baby awake, then fighting sleep, cuddled in close. Safe, warm and cosy. Small cries of tiredness, momentarily distracted by life around her until she looked around and cried again. Then with ever heavier eyelids, she finally gave in, her head relaxed, her whole body at rest, sleeping peacefully.
A moment of calm and peace.
Of remembrance of promises made, of dreams, hopes and wishes for the future...

of love.

Just stay close.



I am also thinking of the Australian bush fires, of all those who have died and their families, and pray my loved ones stay safe out there too...

Made me smile today - a wonderful gift from across the oceans, with these words...thank you Jayne x

Kindness is a gift
that nurtures our souls,
smooths our edges and
awakens our hearts to beauty

a little kindness can go a long, long, way. It can transform a dull day into one that looks so much brighter. A glow that brings a spring to our step and lightens our hearts.

Hope anyone who is reading has a beautiful weekend ahead.

Apologies...

Apologies for any inconvenience - for a couple of reasons I have enabled comment moderation. Hopefully just for the short term.
I value all your comments though, and hope this won't stop you leaving them.
thank you,

RD,x

Diving

How could you reach the pearl by only looking at the sea?

If you seek the pearl, be a diver: the diver needs several qualities:

he must trust his rope and his life to the Friend's hand,

he must stop breathing,

and he must jump.

Rumi

Fihi ma Fihi - 50

Just haven't been able to get this out of my head lately...

It's melting, it was beautiful while it was here,
but then it gets muddy and dirty, and starts to fade,
the perfection tarnished,
nothing lasts for ever,
days off school,
days off work,
snowy beach walks,
hot beach cafe coffee breaks,
no post, no papers, no planes in or out,
snow filled adventures,
snow men, snowball fights, sledging,
white unblemished beauty, a pure canvas filled with memories, and enjoyed.

And now it retreats, a few traces remain in cold corners,
but life returns to routine.
Signs of spring peer out from the once frozen ground
and soon all this will be but a memory,
how transitory it all is,
how transitory everything is...

Apart from someone is dreaming of snowballs in summer...
found these hiding in the freezer :)




best find somewhere else to keep the vodka cold I guess!

Food for thought

Butterfly dreamer posed these questions on her blog, and I thought they were well worth pondering.

Could you be open to whatever comes next?
I'm trying on this one! Everything has always made some kind of sense in reverse and so I'd like to learn to trust that in time all will be well and accept and be open to whatever comes my way. I know I can and will cope somehow with anything that happens, but open to it...the good, and the not so good..? open perhaps, but not always fully embracing it. Pain is still pain and although I'd love to be able to live without it, I know it is an intrinsic part of life through which we do learn so much... still tough though when that's the next thing sent our way.

What do you think is sexy?
Sexy is a feeling, arousing the senses in various ways.

Is it important to be sexy or to feel sexy?
I think it is important to know the sexy inside of us, important to feel good and indulge that - we all desire and yearn to be desired, it's affirming and to shut it down, or lose it for whatever reason is to cut off a huge part of ourselves.
Is it really that easy to define or explain?
I don't think so, but it glows when it's there, it oozes and seeps out, sexy can't be contained.

Can you allow yourself to be different, or to color outside the lines?
Surely colouring outside the lines is the only way to be ~ we can only be who we are, unique and individual, and that can't conform to any one pattern. We are all colouring outside the lines without knowing it. I think it is our greatest gift, our individuality, our own colour(s)

What did you dream as a child , and what are your dreams now? Are you living your dreams? If not , why?
As a child I dreamt of being wild and free, I was mainly alone and always saw the future through those eyes. I never dreamt I would ever find love, or have children, and so in lots of ways I am living more than my wildest dreams and yet some are still to be lived.
Those childhood dreams of work, or at least helping in far off places I still think will happen one day, but not to my timetable ~ life has never worked according to my timetable, so I don't plan any more, but instead look for opportunities to arise.

Do you believe all life is sacred and beautiful?
:) I do, although I'm not so keen on insect life! I strongly believe to take anothers life is wrong - this is a big question though!

Don't all people deserve clean water,food,medicine and shelter? Why do you think the world hasn't achieved this yet?
All people do deserve all those things ~ I wish I knew why. I wonder if it is tied in with not valuing others as much as we value ourselves. Man is greedy and selfish.

Do you think there is good and bad in each of us, and is anything really black and white or just shades of gray? Is it important to acknowledge this part of ourselves?
I think there is good and bad in each of us - there is a dark side to every one. I think we fail ourselves if we try to pretend it doesn't exist. It can be deliciously tempting, but it can also be very dangerous. Mainly I guess we swing somewhere between the two extremes, but knowing there are sides of us we wouldn't perhaps choose to go means we can avoid them.

What do you believe in ? Yourself , God , reincarnation , other people?
I believe in a God who loves and is kind and forgiving and who is there even when there is noone else there...when there is nothing else. And sometimes I believe he/she is there in the people I meet who guide me and help me, those who turn up with just the right word(s) at the right time...angels in human form sent to look after us.

though it has at times seemed so incredibly lonely and then I might question this!


What inspires you?
Humans, love, nature.
What inspires you to create ?
Other people feeling, creating, emotions, humans, love, nature...
words, poetry, music, art.

Who are your heros , your mentors? Why?
For some reason I have always disliked this question ~ they are all people close to me who have taught me wonderful life lessons, ordinary folk who live(d) ordinary lives full of trials that we all could come across. Mainly people who have shown great resilience, love and kindness and believed in themselves and others and not been afraid to show it.

What makes you think ? Really think. What are your unanswered questions?
How is it that men can be so cruel to one another, why it is so hard for people to care and love one another, how come people survive the most incredible pain and trauma? life, love, the universe...eternity, infinity, wonder, beauty...


Do you judge others that look a little different from you? Do you assume you know what she is like? Could you be friends with her?
No, I hate to be judged and I don't like to judge, I know I will only get to know what someone is like by engaging with them and talking and sharing and spending time with them and of course I could be friends, it's not about looks.

Is love the most important thing there is? If so, only romantic love or any love?
I do think love is important, as a basis for all our actions towards one another.

Romantic love is different I think..

Do you think other generations had more fun or had it better than this one, and if so why?
I think every generation has it's own fun, nostalgia is rose tinted at times (for some perhaps), but we live at the time we do and we make our own fun

What gives you your bliss? Can you define it ?
All kinds of things.. holding my children, inhaling their scent, being outdoors, by the sea, exercising and feeling my body working, nature, shared experiences with friends, feeling accepted, loved, log fires, human touch, losing myself in a moment, peaceful escape, solitude, anything that caresses the senses and makes me feel alive.

Great questions, I enjoyed thinking about them and still am, thank you :)

Snow!!

It happens so rarely here, even though it was gone midnight, I just had to don boots and warm clothes to take photos just in case it had gone by morning!!
the children will be so excited when they wake up....
the cat didn't know what to make of it at all...now to bed and snow fun tomorrow, just hope the schools are closed :)

Tea break...?

It's better than any hospital programme on tv, or even one of those fly on the wall camera action things...

real life as viewed by a paramedic working on the front lines in a busy city...
a talented writer and photographer who is also set for a big adventure very soon...his place on it secured in part by his blog!!

Too many great posts to link just one - Kal at traumaqueen..

made me laugh today, thanks Kal, x

Slow dance

I used to think that teenage/parent arguments would be for someone else...
now I know that's not true,
this struggle for independence and autonomy brings with it many challenges
and to not give a damn would be to fail them...
the easier option perhaps is not always the right one.
Ever beautiful, gorgeous and much loved, but hard work, and frustrating
arguments brew and escalate far too easily, are far too common
the ideals of early childhood shatter as we try to not let it be a battle of wills, but find a way round or through...
all made up, peace restored, and childlike in sleep
I never want to miss them growing, developing, being, becoming

and tomorrow is a new day...

I was sent this tonight and I know each day is so precious
Again my heart goes out to those grieving in Gaza, to those who are hurting, those who won't get to see their children again this side of heaven.....or members of their family, adult or child...
I can't imagine a greater pain than that.


This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.


SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift..

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over

We can do no great things - only small things with great love

Hit the floor running today... seems like that's the pattern for the foreseeable weeks.
However, I was granted a reprieve when two appointments had to be rescheduled, giving me time to stop and 'be' alone for a moment.

I have been thinking a lot about love and God, and love again...
wondering, if truth be told, about humanity and compassion and just caring for one another, especially in the light of all that is happening in the world, as well as various other things.
Which is how I came to be reminded of the quote above by Mother Teresa.

There is also an Irish proverb that says "It is in the shelter of each other that the people live" ~ I like that. We do.
We are all connected, and we all need the shelter of one another...
what would it be like if people remembered that when they gained positions of authority and can influence what happens in the world? Perhaps I'm being naive and foolish even hoping something so simple could change anything, but I wonder perhaps if it could just spread and make a difference.

I also picked up a book I hadn't dipped into for a while, only to come across this traditional story retold...

called ~ "God in Hiding"

A legend tells how, at the beginning of time, God resolved to hide himself within his own creation.
As God was wondering how best to do this, the angels gathered round him.
'I want to hide myself in my creation,' he told them. 'I need to find a place that is not too easily discovered, for it is in their search for me that my creatures will grow in spirit and understanding.
'Why don't you hide yourself deep in their earth?' the first angel suggested.
God pondered for a while, then replied, 'No. It will not be long before they learn how to mine the earth and discover all the treasures that it contains. They will discover me too quickly, and they will not have had enough time to do their growing.'
'Why don't you hide yourself on their moon?' a second angel suggested.
God thought about this idea for a while, and then replied, 'No. It will take a little longer, but before long they will learn how to fly through space. They will arrive on the moon and explore it's secrets, and they will discover me too soon, before they have had enough time to do heir growing.'
The angels were at a loss to know what hiding places to suggest. There was a long silence.
'I know,' piped up one angel, finally. 'Why don't you hide yourself within their own hearts? They will never think of looking there!'
'That's it!' said God, delighted to have found the perfect hiding place. And so it is that God hides secretly deep within the heart of every one of God's creatures, until that creature has grown enough in spirit and in understanding to risk the great journey into the secret core of it's own being. And there, the creature discovers it's creator, and is rejoined to God for all eternity.
(from 'one hundred Wisdom Stories from around the world' by Margaret Silf)

God and love hidden deep in the core of each one of us?

Perhaps we see it more easily in others than we do in ourselves at times.

Perhaps that's what we see in each other,
that which we recognise reflected in someone elses eyes,
and why we hurt and feel,
and why we should look after one another more than we do,
and really truly look after ourselves more than we do too....

just pondering....