"Words have the power to both destroy and heal.
When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."
Buddha
When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."
Buddha
Words have been on my mind a lot lately...
their power to change how we think, feel, and act.
The difference between words chosen in love and those designed to maim, and not just the words, but how they are said and how they are packaged.
Once said they can't be taken back, they can linger on indefinitely, even, and perhaps, for ever..
yet silence isn't always the answer either ~ it can hurt every bit as much as words spoken can.
To be careful and use them wisely is a lesson that can't be learned too early.
It hurts when I hear people destroying one another with words, more so when they are young...
and why?
Words as weapons fall far too easily from lips that perhaps don't realise the lasting effects and potential damage done, and they come from both young and old lips alike....
And yet to quote Mother Teresa
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless"
Endless echoes are good...if only we could remember that before we open our mouths..
23 comments:
Fabulous post Katie.
I have been the receiver of silence and not that long ago, I was the receiver of harsh, dagger-like words. Both smart...to the core. Though I know they were said by people who are not happy with themselves and I have forgiven them, they will be words (or lack thereof) that will stay with me forever. Not that I hold a grudge, but like you say, words can't be taken back once they leave your lips or appear in your inbox in your e-mail.
This is an issue I struggle with at times. Something you said that struck me was...
"yet silence isn't always the answer either ~ it can hurt every bit as much as words spoken can."
This is something that I have chosen when my words are misunderstood or taken in a defensive way. What do you do when no matter what you say, it is taken wrong? I have no answer for that one so I just pray about it and hopefully things change will change soon.
I have a woman at work who seems to be extremely sensitive and reads so much into everything based on her own negative perception. This makes me walk on eggshells when I am around her and I often say nothing, though I do acknowledge her presence.
Any words I say are thrown back at me with a hateful tone. This is a woman that I thought was my friend, but for some reason is angry at me all the time. It is sometimes easier to say nothing:(
Beautiful post. The older I get the more I am aware of the impact of words and working with children who had a bad start in life it has become an art to choose your words wisely They don't of course
So true! So true! I nearly cried when I read that.
Related to this post Rainbow... how many times (and yes more so when younger) as soon as the words leave your mouth you think 'Damn, I shouldnt of said that' then pride means you dont try to take them back but compound the problem by making out your right, or the injured party.
Silence (that passive aggresive cloud) is often worse... I never heard my parents argue... but boy did we all know they didnt like each other...
Your post is a good reminder, to be responsible for all we say... and to think first (how easy that is to say :)
It's so very true. I think they have a more lasting impact for sure. We can always remember what someone SAID rather than what they did.
Great post Katie. Sometimes it's the tone of voice used rather than the words too. You can use the same words in two different ways and they will mean completely different things.
To digress even further, I find this medium, both blogging and email, can so easily be misread or misinterpreted when we inflect our own tone on it, our own inflection. It can be extremely frustrating when our words are given a meaning that was never intended.
Stacey, forgiving can be easier than forgetting can't it...and being able to see the reason behind the words or lack of) doesn't always help us much either...even though it does help with understanding. It can be so painful.
Thank you and sending thoughts your way, x
much2ponder, I don't have an answer for that one. I hate it when I have to walk on eggshells.. yet unless someone wants to tell you why they have a problem there is little that can be done and I agree I tend to end up saying nothing too after a while of trying.
It's far worse when it is someone you thought of as a friend...nothing hurts more than something that is broken without knowing why and not being given the chance to fix it...
Know that it isn't your problem though, but hers.x
Marja,
You are lovely, thank you.
I agree.. as I get older I hear the way children talk to one another and the way people relate and I question if they have chosen their words with any thought or not...
in fact that was the trigger for this post...
It really does matter what children grow up hearing and how they hear those around them talking to one another, choosing words wisely is an art.
There are words that I have used as weapons and I regeret the scars that they have left. You are right. We can not take them back. No matter how hard we try.
Gilly,
It is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I think words are important and not always recognised as such...or the effects thought through.
And I have also been thinking through some of my words too...some of it quite sobering...
A'Jay,
hmm yes so easy for words to just come out, and I see pride working exactly like that so often, getting in the way of people making things right between them...
I grew up with silence used as a weapon and honestly don't cope well with it at all...I became very attuned to 'atmospheres'. Words aren't needed to convey somethings..
and children pick up on all the nonverbal cues anyway.
which is why I would far rather someone was just honest and said whatever it is they are thinking, it just makes life easier all round in my book anyhow! :)
To think first - yes.. way too easy to say! :) thank you
Jayne,
We can often remember words and I think we always remember feelings..
and there are so many influences out there - right now I am conscious of the words my children are hearing and using outside their home, the images and language that seep into their worlds and I think it matters, a lot...
I worry about it and it upsets me and yet I'm not sure of the best way forward..
Gypsy,
Oh so very very true...my can I relate to that!
The tone says so much, and you're right it can be exactly that which can cause so many problems with e mails, and blogging too...
It is very frustrating when you want and intend and thought you had conveyed one thing and it has been taken as another completely. We can be so lost without eye contact and intonation and all the non verbal stuff.. words alone can be easily misunderstood...
It wasn't the reason for this post, but has happened to me very recently and it is sad and frustrating...
ConverseMomma, Sorry your post crossed with my comment..
I think it takes someone humble to admit to the scars they have left. I am sure everyone has left scars that they wish they hadn't..
Although they can never be taken back, I do believe forgiveness and time can help us move onwards together... we are all human and should be forgiving of our human failings.
Thank you, it is good to see you here again too, Katie
what is that quote? Loose lips sink ships!
There is a story happening here in town...a woman got on her facebook and slammed a local restaurant...one that is loved and revered by many. She set up a "group" hate on and basically smeared the owner viciously. It must've scared the shit out of this owner....he took the high road and apologized for the supposedly bad service. Since then, there has been much discussion and flack thrown at the facebooker....
I hate to be sexist, but it seems to me that females resort to this behaviour as their preferred method of bullying and revenge. Name calling behind someone's back and gossip which puts the other person in a negative light comes natural to some. All I can conclude from that when it happens to me is that the perpetrator is wounded, and i try my best to let it slip off me. I'm not often successful though.
Dana,
Haven't heard that quote but so true...
hmmm facebook, good for some things but like anything I guess it's open to be used by people who want to get at others...scary how that could potentially have affected his whole business!
I think there probably are, in my experience too, more instances of women being like that than men. When it happens I find it hard to let it go too...far harder than when someone is upfront and honest.
Well spoken Katie. My own favourite quote on the subject comes from Shirdi Sai Baba ...
'Before you speak, ask yourself: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, and does it improve on the silence?'
I have that one tacked to my computer monitor ... it's a harsh yardstick that's seen many a post not make it to the publish button (lol).
Diver, what wise words, thank you for sharing them..
all of those things together...yes, I really do like that and think they will grace my home too now :)
Words bridge the minds of all people.
Actions destroy them.
Great post
Walker, thank you, I think that actions without thought can and do..
am pondering that :) cheers, Katie, x
Words are just that ... words.
They hold no importance until WE attach importance to them.
Silence however .... well, it CAN speak volumes.
Just my thoughts ...
Scarlet, you have a very valid point there..very...
I have always maintained that it is the feeling and tone that speaks often far more.. and that would be the same for silence too.
Thank you, Katie, have a lovely weekend, x
Hey, Katie... so powerful and beautiful sayings, thoughts. It was a pleasure to read them all.
And the quote of Robert Fulghum is amazing! Great choice.
XOXO thank you, I love that people share their thoughts and quotes, it makes for interesting ponderings and dialogue too
Your blog is truly inspirational. Thank You!
Confessions of a Wandering Soul, thank you!! :)
Post a Comment