Am so impressed

Then we got back to find our friend had just successfully swum the English channel in 15 1/2 hours for breast cancer research - a great friend, and inspiration - totally amazing!

Slow

Have been away for a couple of days - school starts next week so it seemed a good idea to grab some space while we could. Some luxury too - a proper bed to sleep on in a hotel instead of sofa beds or camping style accomodation! The children had bunk beds - if only I could bottle their excitement...!

We swam, read, watched dvds and played games - slowed right down
Slow as a contrast from the parties and lateness of previous evenings with friends, which were lively, fun and full of energy, but tiring all the same.


Slow was good - just to stop the whirlwind and be still
- sitting with each of my family at various points, sharing moments and making contact with them, their thoughts and ideas, touching base with what's important.
Realising the real value of anything uncomplicated and pure and wishing more of life could be so simple ..... somehow the stillness seems to help in untangling thoughts, emotions and feelings
- now we're home can it last?

Since we're not getting far off this small rock this summer, and my philosophy has been for themost part that why should we when we live in a beautiful place, we've been trying to take advantage of what is on offer locally as far as entertainment goes.
It's been varied, but we've realised that as often happens, if it's right in front of your nose you don't always see it.
So last night we headed off to the Castle for some live music - despite the children's grumbles and headaches/tummy aches.
Once we arrived and had food it was a far happier scene, meaning we could listen to the music of John Byrne and Dave Fuller, relax and chill, and enjoy the moment. It would have been fantastic had the sun been setting, but was it was still fantastic and equally as memorable, if not more so, interspersed by the fog horn and the mist rolling in, with the odd champagne cork popping.

As we left a rat scurried past, but instead of being scared of it, the children were fascinated - it would seem that somehow a rat isn't scary when its where it's supposed to be!

Chainsaws are good for the soul...

Just what the doctor ordered - a trip out to the local show and some wicked chainsaw sculpting from a talented chap called Ben Loughrill - it was exciting watching and seeing his vision emerge from the wood, enhanced by the the noise of his chainsaw, flying sawdust and the skill involved ~ I seem to be spending a fair amount of time watching things transform lately! I looked for his website but obviously he's far too busy sculpting and getting creative with bits of wood and chain saws to get it sorted properly - what's more he seems to be a truly lovely guy - we spent quite some time chatting with him and couldn't resist coming home with a new addition to our family - ollie the owl!





The lad going wild on his quad bike was also something to behold!
Quad bikes and chainsaws being added to R's birthday list as I type - he can live in hope!!

Recovering

We've been feeling sorry for ourselves (collectively) today
Its been dentist day - checkups revealed both kids needed fillings - and today was the day.

When they were little we were told their enamel on their first teeth hadn't formed properly and just a sniff of sugar can - and will - cause cavities, so we have been extra careful, but still it's a hard balance, especially with them learning to brush their teeth properly themselves. It sounds small but is important!

We have fortunately found a nice dentist, but it's still a trauma - no other way of putting it.


So, we've had an afternoon of cuddling rabbits, playing with 'Bentley' - next door's dog who has adopted our garden as a place to play - watching tv ( am thankful for sky!) devouring home made soup, and just being a family - sometimes although the reasons for it aren't that great, it's good to just pull together as a family and lock the world outside while we recover

Getting arty :-)

I have always loved watching R working, painting or drawing, creating - I see it calm him, how he concentrates, gets absorbed in it, I love just being still with him - hours can pass and yet it doesn't feel long.

It's precious time.

I love my jewellery making because, to an extent, I think I feel a little of how he does painting -
I was never able to copy realistically, and was always branded no good at art at school.

However, given a different perspective since, I'd love to learn more about sculpture - to work in 3d is something I enjoy - clay, plaster of paris, wax, even sugar paste! - perhaps they're more forgiving... whatever it is, I find it easier ~ but, last night I was persuaded to grab a brush and a canvas and have a go at painting.
Again the hours flew past, it was fun, it was relaxing ~ he said it was good, I think it was childish and naive, but regardless of the aesthetics of the finished piece, there was definitely something intangible, perhaps just in the shared space with another person working, that made it special...

Who are we to judge others? If I'd believed the art teacher - and I did for a long while - and if I'd never been encouraged by R, I might never have even considered trying to paint again- and I'd have missed out on something valuable!

New eras beckon.

as one door closes another opens - coincidence or just part of the plan? - perhaps I should just trust more - the call to give blood that I received just as I closed the door on my ex employers car, on my last working day, proved to be the direct link to my new post - I start in September working as a nurse for the blood transfusion service.

Lots of thoughts running through my head - the arrival of a mac book pro heralds a new era for R's work (and mine to a lesser degree), but as R's comments were he could eat it I guess it's a male thing thinking of a pc as sexy!!!

Alone again - this little unit can take a deep breath and recharge - guests gone, a wonderful time had by all, but feeling weary from the constancy of noise, demands, busyness of people - time to be a unit of four for now - time to just be, be me.....

much needed rest and looking forward - a horrid feeling that the summer holidays are running away and I'm struggling to keep up - please can't we have another few weeks?

I haven't played nearly enough yet....
there's never enough time to play.....

Once in a while

Just finished reading The True and Outstanding Adventures of The Hunt Sisters
two quotes from it stuck in my head -

a quote from Auden:
But once in a while the odd thing happens,
Once in a while the dream comes true,
And the whole pattern of life is altered,
Once in a while the moon turns blue.

and a line from a letter to her sister saying
"I want to be like a favorite song. The one you play to cheer you up and get you going again. And like a good song, sometimes I'll just pop into your head or you can play me whenever you want."

At a funeral of a friend of ours I remember the priest commenting on how suddenly some colour was missing from our lives.
Colour..... or a favourite song?
People do bring colour and music into lives - am now thinking of my friends in terms of colours and songs!

Anyway, I did enjoy the book, sad, but a good read in a not too heavy kind of way

Never been tagged before!

Thanks to Caroline - a welcome distraction whilst preparing for an interview tomorrow!

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. chambermaid
2. nurse - cardiology/coronary care and accident and emergency
3. information officer for a childrens bereavement support agency
4. running and managing self catering chalets


Four Movies I have watched over and over;
I don't tend to watch a film / read a book more than once unless it's a kids one when I have no choice - so films I wouldn't /don't mind watching over are :-

1. Beaches
2. Dirty dancing
3. almost any of the Aardman animation films
4. Belville Rendez-vous


Four places I have lived:
1. Clapham, London
2. Edgbaston, Birmingham
3. Amesbury, Wiltshire
4. Guernsey


Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Tribe
2. Holby city
3. My family
4. Sex and the city - now on dvd only :-(

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. California
2. Finnish Lapland
3. France
4. Italy


Four of my favourite foods
1. Freshly baked bread - especially seeded, grainy or nutty ones
2. Cheese - favourites are soft and french
3. crisp juicy apples
4. curry


Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Southern Italy - the amalfi coast
2. Brittany, or anywhere in peaceful french countryside
3. Barbados
4. Antarctica


how about you?

Four people who will respond: anyone who wants to :-)

Happy Birthday Sam

9 years ago we waited expectantly to meet the new addition to our family - to finally greet the living being that had kept us up at night and was due to keep us up for many more nights to come - she arrived at 22.05
The child who has always been "sunny from the inside out", who dances her way through life and no doubt will leave a colourful imprint on many peoples hearts. A girl with attitude, who is compassionate and loving,


Happy Birthday Sam

This years creation was Rocky the rabbit :-)



and finally, just because it's not in me to give up on something - last years ( now inedible) Brambly hedge :-)


Tonight we can finally sit comfortably in the living room, instead of in the kitchen while I model tiny pernickity bits of mice!

However, before we get to that stage it is imperative that as many of the Birthday gifts as can be, get properly looked at or used.
This leads to the discovery that the pink plastic ties needed to attach the pink bike basket to the bike have been accidently thrown away - fortunately the bin men haven't been since last night and so we can retrieve them from the old bin bag.
This also reminds us of the numerous times we have had to search for lost items, always in the last bin bag to be searched - and also that, in rummaging, there is a strange sensation of reliving past evenings and events, pieced together by the rubbish they have generated - though I have to say, out of choice, memories and photos are far preferable!

House guests and a pleasant surprise

My Mum always said that house guests were like fish - after three days they start to go off.... that sounds harsh, but I know what she means..... to a degree -

living with people can be hard, sharing spaces and putting up with foibles and mood swings - especially with many different personalities.
However, with such very good friends to stay life is easy, relaxed, happy - normal children's squabbles but the place is so easy going it feels as if we're having a holiday aswell.
It's wonderful to see S with his boys, a fantastic father, and they are thriving on the love and stability he gives them - they have had some huge changes over the past couple of years and it reminds me that it is possible for children to come through a divorce and be well adjusted, happy and secure.



On another note we witnessed something we never thought would happen today - we have several neighbours, but from the outset one of them has been consistently obnoxious and rude at any opportunity - we suspect several resaons for this, but consistent verbal abuse and calls meant that when little R would lose balls over the hedge into his garden we would rarely see them again - it was very hit and miss, although we kept on persisting, as balls seem to have a way of migrating naturally to his garden instead of to any others.
Today, yet again, a ball went missing over to his garden, we expected the usual difficulties, yet to our amazement we were told we could go and collect them any time as long as we closed the gate behind us... a small thing but will make life so much easier. I have no idea what made him change his mind, but am truly thankful for small mercies :-)

Paddling pools

It was, all told, another full day, buoyed up by those around me - a paddling pool filled - far more than just a paddling pool in honesty - much pride has gone into sorting levels and adjusting it with sand to prepare the area first - we're not planning on refilling this one often - it has it's own filter so all being well it should be ok for a while - it was real team work, rewarded with a cool dip afterwards.
There has been ongoing debate about justifying such a pool with the sea a few minutes away - but considering how many days we are stuck here not able to go to the beach, it was far too irresistable...
plus children and water mix well I find :-)



Massive amounts of water needed to fill it have also prompted conversations between us as a family, children included, about this valuable resource - the cost of water, availability and some appreciation of it in terms of other communities in the world where water is not so readily accessible....
I am often heard reminding them to turn off taps, yet seeing it in quantity makes so much more of a visual impact... perhaps a consciousness will remain with them about this as they get older - I hope so


Barbeques seem the ideal way of cooking with so many living here, and the focus of activity is definitely outdoors...

The children have played, laughed, and generally had a ball together in the garden - its what childhood summers should be

Roll up, roll up....

Tonight we had booked for the circus, if indeed that is what it was....not being up on definitions of exactly what a circus is that is...
but it was in a tent, had a clown, a couple of acrobats and a lady who swung on a golden moon from the ceiling

Our guests and some friends we had invited, a few other people ringside, and a few performers - quieter than I expected, but we were out, and open minded to the end - it was a most surreal experience in an "I don't quite believe we are sitting here watching this" way... in many ways childishly simple

To fully describe it wouldn't do it justice... however, for all its simple formula we had the most wonderful evening, we laughed till tears were streaming down our cheeks at some parts - grown men completely dissolved in tears of laughter too.
It's so good to laugh like that.

The kids loved it and have been practicising diablo since we returned. I am sure we'll have to unearth the unicycle from the garage tomorrow, though we won't be setting ours on fire! (the fire stunts were definitely the highlight of the show)

Its a real shame in many ways that this will be the last year this 'circus' runs - it has something very special, unique, that more polished performances wouldn't necessarily have - a family feel show that can no longer compete...

And at the end of today, still no answers, but we do have one of my best mates here to stay with his two boys

it's great to see him, his kids and ours get on well...

all three of them a blessing

Muddling through or not...

Some days the seeming fact that however hard we try, some things just stay the same really gets to me - am frustrated that time and consequence has failed to change certain things, certain peoples reactions and feelings.

This morning I hit virtual screaming point at some peoples selfishness in having children and then not bothering - and that is the right word, not bothering what happens to them - and I have struggled so hard to not be judgemental - perhaps it's not for me to question why, apart from it is so blatent it's impossible to ignore...

Recently I have been preoccupied with unbloggable things - have been reminded what a godsend the incidental happenings and so called trivia are in helping us cope and get through dark days

I wandered into church in town earlier today - had the feeling that if only I could just stay there I could be safe and secure and it would all work out ok, but I couldn't, so, prayers said, I had to face the day...

Perhaps the best any of us can do is muddle through - it's all one big muddle really

Plums for sale...

Selling produce on the hedge is commonplace here - something for people to drop their money in and you can shop as you drive around the island...
since we have an abundance of plums - and pears to follow, the kids came up with the idea thay could do this and earn extra pocket money - I remember doing it as a kid with peaches and grapes - and I could identify so very much with their excitement when they found people had actually stopped and bought from us!!!!
12 bags of plums, 10 in each - the general public are 120 plums better off and our tree is 120 plums lighter - and thankfully we haven't had to eat 120 plums :-)
They have also more than doubled their pocket money in one day....

Hubby wanted to title this "hold your plums" but that's just an in family joke !

On being cared for...

The dilemma - all I wanted really was for someone to care, to ask how I was, thank me for what I had managed to achieve, and give me encourgement...

Just before the holiday I phoned Winston's wish to say thank you to them all for their support over the last four+ years - they are a brilliant team of people - and amend contact details, when this really lovely man actually asked me "has anyone said thank you to you?"

It felt to me as if I must have been moaning...

He just called me back to check on how I was, on how things were going - and you know what ? ~ now I feel guilty....

He's lovely but surely he has better things to do than call me?
It's not always that easy to let ourselves be cared for ~ it feels strange....

Just recently little S has been picking us flowers for the house - it's beautiful.
I love the fact that it's a gift she has chosen to pick, with love, more I'd say than the flowers themselves.

12 hours sleep

Bliss..............

:-)