Revelatory moments are few and far between it seems
a fleeting moment of inspiration, filling a gap
a longed for missing piece of a jigsaw
yet they happen now and again.
Revealed this morning,
of all places, in the shower, amidst shampoo and soap
a new perspective on 'why?'
years spent asking 'why?'
what it is that motivates a certain type of behaviour?
And now it occurs to me following this, that I'm not so sure that knowing why actually helps with what to do about it...
(even if it's not knowing as such, and merely another perspective)
just maybe, why? isn't always the most important question...
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Revelatory shower moments...
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9 comments:
Behaviourist and Choice theory guy William Glasser believes that our behaviour is our attempt to fulfill a need....to get what we want. I tend to agree with him...to ask the whys allows us a glimpse into what Jung refers to as the shadow part of ourselves...where our as yet known (to ourselves) feelings and thoughts dwell. to know how we feel and what we are thinking connects our actions/behaviour to what motivates us....which is sometimes hidden. If we don't ask why....if we don't identify underlyng reasons, we may never know the reason for the behaviour.
Why is the question I ask the most in counselling....it helps me help someone dig deeper.... sometimes there are no clear answers right away...most times....but if I ask it a couple of times in a session, I know I've planted the seed...
I've been asking why for as far back as I can remember on this one Dana, and now I think I understand why ~ possibly!
and it was a real revelation, a light sparking moment :)
It certainly felt good to have an answer.
I wasn't meaning that why isn't important to ask, just that it doesn't necessarily make things any easier - now it feels as if I'm better informed, but still on the same path...
perhaps I'd best take more showers and the rest might be revealed to me in time!!
I would also agree that it is to do with getting what we want, and yes it is rooted in shadows
not that that helps me particularly on a practical level unfortunately, they aren't my shadows... :) x
i don't think asking questions and seeking the answers, esp. when it pertains to human behaviour is every easy. Personal revelations almost always carry a multitude of emotions...both beautiful and ugly.
Behaviour is never compartmentalized is it....and sometimes it is a bouncing chain reaction to an action of another's behaviour. Funny how connected our reactions are to other's behaviour....and how it can impact how someone will respond.
Dana, behaviour is only ever a reaction to something - and the ripples can be far reaching..perhaps we can't logically know how to react until we know the why behind something...hence knee jerk reactions unless someone cares to enlighten us enroute...
am reminded of a quote recently-
These days
whatever you have to say, leave
the roots on, let them
dangle
And the dirt
Just to make clear
where they come from
- Charles Olson
perhaps quite apt for thinking in the shower!!
"Why" is the reason "What" is the cause and the answer is your perspective
Walker...
it is always going to be about perspective isn't it? Sometimes we need to ask the why in order to alter our perspective to one we can live with more peacefully perhaps...whatever, a change in perspective is always helpful now and again :)
Thanks for making me think
Why does not excuse the behavior, but helps you to further understand IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU? :c) (And, it so isn't)
Maybe in addition to asking why we should also ask what can we do about it. Knowing why and not being able or not wanting to do anything about it makes the point moot really don't you think?
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