First off I read a story I loved over at writing in faith which made me think about how we see other people, and how others view us.. not a new idea but one that this social experiment made me think about again and also about what we miss if we are not open to and looking at what is really around us.
Secondly, I haven't been around much ~ yesterday was the year anniversary of the death of someone who I thought of as my second Dad..not family as such, but as good as, and a wonderful person. It was so lovely that after I called and had spoken with R, one of his daughters, I then heard her calling out that it was Katie B on the phone. It is rare that I am called, and happy to be called, by my maiden name any more, but there always had to be a differentiation between the two Kates in the family and it took me straight back to happy times with my 'brothers and sisters' getting up to way too much mischief, especially as, for many years, I was the youngest.
It is both beautiful and painful how some people leave permanent marks on your hearts and souls.
We love and we hurt and we laugh and we cry, smiling through the tears, and we do it all at the same time, and we hug each other because we are still here and we miss them and we can't bring them back and it just doesn't seem fair...
and we pick ourselves up and we carry on with them in our hearts every day, not far away and yet far too far away.
Changed by knowing them, yet I'm not sure how comforting that really is....
So, there was that..
and there has been time trying to get my head around what is going on in Gaza...reading and listening, inbetween children and mealtimes and lessons and work ~ quiet time when there is nothing else that demands attention, to be able to concentrate and absorb, is hard to come by!
and a stack of work to get through and prepare, a daughter revising for exams and taking them seriously....and other adolescent issues, growing pains I guess, both physical and otherwise to attend to.
and the minor, yet drastic (for me that is) discovery that my work trousers fit rather better than they should if they are to remain decent, which has meant I have had to seriously up the exercise and cut out some of the things I love because there is no way I am buying new ones.
Which means life, as ever, has been and is, a mix of big and small things, all significant, all changing how I have been feeling and thinking, and has left little time or, if I'm honest, mental space, for catching up with friends anywhere, or blogging or replying to e mails....sometimes life just takes over for a while...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Bits 'n' pieces
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19 comments:
work trousers? discovered this week that mine have a hole in the knee....
Thankfully, my work trousers are scrub pants, or else I'd have been in deep trouble the past few weeks...sigh. Need to give up the wine I am afraid, and get back to walking, and be more mindful of grazing. So simple, right? ;c)
Oh no... that demands a new pair I'd say.. too much time on your knees! :)
I need to see what I have to dredge up from my 'fat' day clothes until I fit back into my other ones....why does it go on quicker than it comes off? :(
Jayne, we crossed commenting...
yes, see I got away with black jeans the other day but I know they aren't uniform policy...
I'd be a disaster if I had scrubs to wear at work...easiest way to just not bother about it!
I object to having to give up wine but think there is no alternative if I want results, and grazing on crisps, and the cheese...oh and the bread...it sounds so simple... yeah right!! ;)
I spoke to an old special friend the other day on the phone and felt the same way as you describe here Katie. We are a culmination of different people aren't we... It's hard to describe, but it kind of felt like a revisit to important roots in my foundation. It also is a wake up to the fact that time has marched on too which makes life feel so tenuous or something.
I too have felt the horror of Gaza everytime I've had a moment of quiet around here and as much as I try to absord the meaning behind it all, I can't. I just can't get the pictures out of my head of the children and innocents who are targets of the terror of war and they have no place to hide.
Sweet Jesus it's horrendous.
Hi Dana, we are a culmination of different people, and adding to it all the time I think. Life is fragile and sometimes we are reminded more so of that...I wish I lived closer to these guys...or perhaps I should just pick up the phone more often.
The images are stuck in my head too from the news - horrendous is right. I can't imagine that being my family, my children...
imagine living with that relentlessly...
Hi Katie.
Good luck with the exercising. Can't say I'll be joining you.
Also - I am glad so many people are thinking-talking-praying about what's happening in Gaza. There is too much in this world. Just too much.
Also, I am sorry to hear about your dear friend passing last year. But I'm glad that you had him in your life and that you can remember him with more than sadness.
Take care.
Charli, Thanks, I'm hoping that once I'm back into it properly it'll just be a way of life again..it all stopped this year when the lupus flared up and was discovered, but so far so good :)
and many thanks for your comment about John, he had a real presence and would be nigh on impossible to forget, for all the right reasons. A beautiful man... he made it impossible to remember him with anything but love
You take care too, am plesed you're back, Katie
I am glad you are doing well with the lupus, by the way. I'm having a nasty flare myself. But my kidneys are improving with the chemo (as crappy as the chemo is, I guess it's worth it!). Stupid lupus. I'm still trying to come to terms with being sick FOREVER. Ugh. Anyway, enough whining. Take care!!
Thank you,
I'm pleased the chemo is working, and sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with it. For the record I don't think you're whining. I think you have every reason to say it as it is.. I would never wish what I went through on anyone, and that wasn't as bad as many people, it is truly wicked and nasty.
I'm not sure the forever bit has really sunk in for me really - though it is easier to imagine when it is playing up and I am in pain!
Hope you feel better soon
All we can do is take good care :) Cheers Charli
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend sweets, my love goes out to you.
You sound so busy and chaotic - don't forget your 'you' time. xxx
Niki, thank you so much, that means a lot.
It is a full diary, but probably no more than most Mums with kids of a similar age to mine have if I'm honest! It's the emotional things that take up my energy - I wish to goodness I knew how you know if you're doing things right as a parent...but you don't find out until afterwards.
I will keep that 'me' time in mind. In fact I did get to the gym tonight - a huge effort but it was worth it, just me and my music for an hour, and the others in the gym of course...I do use it as escape too,
sleep well, take care, x
Carlos, thank you for coming by and commenting - I'll drop in on you soon. I still haven't linked some people I visit regularly yet...but thanks for asking.
( poss not Enuf time on my knees and God with a sense of humour...)
mmp, or time to treat yourself to a new pair :)
Hey there... I did not have your e-mail address, so here are your questions...
1. If you could take a one month trip anywhere in the world and money where not a consideration, where would you go and what would you do?
2. What are your most compulsive habits?
3. Would you rather play a game with someone more or less talented with you? Would it matter who was watching?
4. Which of the following restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently or never leaving the state in which you currently reside?
5. How do you picture your funeral? Is in important that people mourn your death?
I look forward to your answers!! Thanks for playing!
Charli, thank you.. have emailed you - realised earlier I hadn't let you have my e mail address...
Will answer those great questions soon :)
As you get older and more responsabilities weigh down on you it those cracks in time you find that become the moments to reflect before reality closes in on you one more time.
Life does have a way of intruding on the things we love to do doesn't it? Sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day but in all honesty we would all just probably try to fit more in and be right back where we started from.
I hope the constant barrage of need of your time lets up soon Katie and that you find a peaceful place for your mind to go when you are troubled emotionally.
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