"The greatest imperfection is in our inward sight, that is, to be ghosts unto our own eyes"

a quote from Sir Thomas Browne, which marks the beginning of a book I picked up at the airport on my way to one of our neighbouring islands yesterday and which is proving to be an addictive read.

The holidays are here, and with our daughter away in Cannes slumming it in a hotel (and looking every bit the part and far older than her years... hmmmm), the house is extra quiet. Dynamics alter and we get space and time to spend in different ways.

Space and time, our own space and time that is, is incredibly valuable, and yet it can disappear so slowly as to be almost imperceptible, until it is almost nonexistent, by which time we crave something we can barely remember.

I guess that's why to sit and read has felt like such a gift, remembering not so long ago when it felt just too dangerous to sit and read because to do that, to disappear into myself for any length of time, would mean taking my eye off the ball so to speak, and that was a risk I just wasn't going to take.
It's easy for other people to say you need to take time out, and yet people in general are unlikely to do that unless they feel it is safe to do so..

And yet the value of time to reflect and look inwards, quiet time to silence the noise from within and settle, to find peace is immeasurable, to be able to let it process... and allow it to be.

And if for some reason that opportunity is denied, we find ways of sneaking a few minutes here and there. We always seek to fill what is missing I guess...when we listen to our inner voices and follow where they lead.

Now, if only I could find those inward looking minutes in daylight instead of the wee small hours.
But there is something about the night, and the dark, and the silence, and the rain on the roof, that is soothing, and yet exciting, and that keeps me awake and pondering on life and love and pain, and all the big things that combine to enable us to say that we are truly living as opposed to merely existing.

The connection to the quote... no more initially than I liked it and it led to more pondering... :)